volcanic spurts

damn. a lot has happened since my last post. i was very close to deleting this blog and never putting my inane ramblings on display ever again because of the state of the world and a worthy fear of self-centering, but here we are.

with a photo dump of the last 1.5 months. starting in DC during the first week of BLM protests whereupon i got maced directly in the eyes by the police. the next day we went to the mall and saw the outside of the national museum of african american history & culture. a beautiful architectural design, on prominent real estate, sold out within nanoseconds of ticket sales each day :: in contrast to real bodies on the street, fighting the invisible but treacherously felt structures that keep too many of us trapped in the airtight cage of poverty. i know i know.

then back to BK. immediately more protests. they are cathartic and maddening, energizing and physically exhausting, all-consuming and only feasible to do within the privileged confines of a working schedule. they make me feel relieved by the individual’s inability to self-center as a protester in the moment (i’m pretending like those instagram influencers don’t exist) – you’re just swallowed in the mass demanding change. i just hope to god those masses get the fuck out to vote and challenge their political ideologies enough to get on board with radical change/ progressive politics. imho!

even though nothing else besides protesting seems important right now (and increasingly ever) – there are other things in muted periphery. like hydrangeas and reading the power broker (ish) at jacob riis and feeling meta-planner as hell. and steve appreciating/constructing meals. lmk in the comments below if you want me to delete these, steve!

then we went to the beach with friends and it was GLORIOUS – humans – quarantined in a house away from any other humans – interacting like it’s peacetime with no corona or trump. pure joy and highly spiked lemonade. conquering my fear of board games (#manifestationsofanxiety) and learning how to play wingspan. THIS BIRD’S FEET! that game taught me about that bird’s feet.

to this past weekend celebrating my dad’s 60th birthday. bought an orchid and made some mint watermelon juice to survive #wfh without AC before our drive up. got amazing quality time with the fam, swam twice in a lake, had wine outside in two rain storms, got my ~*portrait*~ taken in the dark, shopped in downtown hudson sweating through our facemasks, ate doritos on the lawn, went for hot runs by horses. feeling so lucky to be able to navigate quarantine within six feet of friends and family. and to be able to work through the moral hierarchies/imperatives of risk-taking to drive this movement and moment. keeping in mind that what’s happening is volcanic spurts but we’ve been playing on top of a volcano for 400 years. feeling flexible and permeable to change and new ideas, but also taking deep breathes and remembering to celebrate what’s right here. <<< monday morning mood turning super sentimental, time to sign off :).

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